Has anyone ever been married to an addict that actually got better?

My husband has progressively turned into an addict. He wasn't always this way but it runs in his family big time. His mother died very young from cirrhosis along with other relatives. He spent the summer in rehab and now he is worse than ever. He always uses the excuse that relapse is a part of recovery, but to me that should be every now and then not every week! I just don't see him getting better until I leave and he hits his rock bottom.Has anyone ever been married to an addict that actually got better?
Every addict gets clean and stays clean when their ready, some may have all the best of intentions only to find that they relapse, and yes it is true that relapse is a part of recovery, to a certain degree, not weekly. I can't stress to you enough how important na or aa can be to someone who really wants to get clean and stay clean, rehab is just fine for a short period of time, having someone watching over you and guiding you is great, but rehab isn't a life long program, but na is. Wanting recovery is one thing, but doing it is another. And yes the odds are stacked up against him, but these odds are no different or worse them others who have family history's of addiction, and many addicts from these backgrounds have succeeded in being clean and staying clean. You can either choose to stay with him and hope that one day he cleans up his act, and who knows when that will be, it can be tomarow or 10 years down the road? Or you also have the option to leave, it's up to you, and I do hope that you are taking the steps to ensure that your quality of life isn't put in jeopordy from his actions as a addict? Take care of you!!Has anyone ever been married to an addict that actually got better?
Divorce him, you don't need to be married to a guy who is addicted to pills and drugs! DIVORCE!
Yes, some do. But it takes will power and a HIGHER POWER.
Oh gosh NO! Leave him! Don't let him drag you down.
Quiet frankly that may be the only way he will consider getting help . If he sees that you are not going to put up with it any more and you leave . Even then it is not guaranteed . He has to truly want help before he gets it . Right now by him doing this every week he is most likely just trying to pacify you .


My first husband was an alcoholic ( still is ) and my second husband was a drug addict ( still is only worse ) . I begged , pleaded , threatened what ever I could to get them both to get some help and they didn't so I packed up and left .


You can not help those that can not help themselves .


Good luck .
That is so lame, if he wanted to get over this addiction he would try harder. Tell him its you or his habit!
My husband married me and I do not touch hard alcohol. He is not a holier than thou person. I have been clean of drugs for 30 years. I do not have a need to touch them. I do have a couple glasses of wine with my best female friends. We are married ladies and look after each other. Our husbands might have a couple beers and one of us will do the driving. I have given my BFF's husbands or boyfriends a ride if i didn't drink that night. They get home safe. My husband picked up one of my girlfriends because I asked him to. She is a good friend of 20 years! He was being a gentleman. Her husband was grateful and wanted to pay him! My hubby didn't want money at all.
What is he addicted to?





Don't stay. Most drug addicts don't quit. Their life and their love is the drug. It comes first in their life. Just because he wants to live a crappy life doesn't mean you have to.
I was married to an addict. He smoked pot, snorted coke, and who knows what else. He would honestly try to get better - and several times would remain clean for a time. He always had an exuse for his relapses. Plus - addictive personalities are just that - when they get rid of one addiction, oftentimes another takes over. When he gave up drugs he drank more, or over ate. We are now divorced, but he says he is clean. His current addiction is religion - and not in a good way. He has essentially joined a cult.





That being said - one of my friends was married to an alcoholic. They separated and he hit rock bottom. That was the catalyst he needed. He has now been clean and sober for 10 years.





I guess the moral is - it can happen, it's just very rare.
Yes my husband was an addict. I gave him a choice, either he cleaned up or he moved back to his mothers until he was clean. I spent 3 yrs of hell cuz of it. But when I finally told him that he realized that he was an addict and decided for himself to clean up. And btw, relapse is not a part of recovery... That's what you should avoid...
Not until their ready to get better!! They have to want it!
My husband is a marriage counselor, and he has seen couples successfully overcome all kinds of addictions, from drugs to porn. It's hard though, and it takes time.





For me personally, I don't condone divorce but I would in the case of the three A's--adultery, abuse, ADDICTION.
I married my husband almost 5 years ago and I didn't know he was an alcoholic right away. It escalated until he beat me up one night and I threw his butt in jail. When he came out I told him I would only drop the charges and let him home if he stopped drinking. At this point he wanted to stop drinking anyway so he did. That was 6 months ago and he is the man I fell in love with all over again. So if your spouse really wants to quit he can. He does need to hit the bottom first. We were seperated for 6 weeks while he cleaned up.
He is not going to get better while you are around.. if he is really an alcoholic. You need to get out but try to be firm and let him know that you love him, but you can not let his addiction destroy two lives. it is messy with this kind of situation. good luck.
He can recover, but he's the one that really has to want to. No amount of nagging will help him. As for what you have to do is support him all you can stand to and if you can't take it anymore then no one will blame you if you leave him. It's not easy to put up with an addict.
You haven't stated what he is addicted to. So this may not be helpful. But I was the drunk, and my husband the one who stuck by me hoping it would end. The book Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey saved my life, and my marriage. I had tried rehab twice, and AA numerous times, and neither worked for me. I came across this book, and was initially put off by its' AA bashing. But the principles in it worked(and can be applied to any addiction), and put a stop to my addiction immediately. There is a section in the back for the family, I suggest you read this part. And the rest too, cause it will help you understand the nature of any addiction. You husband won't stop unless he really wants to. But if he even says he would like to stop, this book can work for him. Relapse is not a part of recovery. It is an excuse addicts use to continue use of their favorite substance. All programs like rehab and AA and NA give you a stack of excuses to set up in your mind as well, which is why lots of people get worse after rehab, and in these programs. Like ';if you don't call your sponsor, you might use'; ';if you don't pray every day, you might use';. Endless ifs. Rational Recovery removes all those ridiculous excuses, and provides you with a method for immediate cure. Abstinence. Permanently. It is possible, and it is awesome. Just go to amazon.com, and look up that book, and read the reviews. I'm not the only one who has had good experience with it. There are certainly some bad ones, usually from people wrapped up in AA. Please, give it a shot. And if that doesn't work, you might just have to leave, or keep putting up with it and be miserable. Good luck!
I was married to a nice man who happened to be an alcoholic.


And after 7 years of trying to make things work, I got so ill I had to be hospitalized.





So...I had to choose: a divorce and my health..or an unhappy marriage.





I chose myself. And am happy I did!





Bottom line: Unless he WANTS to aknowledge his problem and WANTS to seek help and DO something about it, you can do nothing.