Before you get married do you tell your spouse everything?

For example, who you slept with or whatever or how many people you slept with and all the details? or would you want to know yourself? especially if your Christian what would you want to know?Before you get married do you tell your spouse everything?
no i would not want to hear his past, or any details. i would keep my past to myself unless it had something toi do with my future. telling all to someone is never good, as they will come back later when they are mad at u and use it as a weapon against u.i think its wrong to tell all, when it has nothing to do with the future. just makes u look easy, and will give your spouse concern if he/she knows every little detail of every relationship u ever had.Before you get married do you tell your spouse everything?
If two people are thinking about getting married, I would think both know what they should know about each other. Otherwise they shouldn't bother getting married. If one has led the other to believe they haven't been around, and knowing would change plans to get married. Then the one who has been lying should tell the truth. I myself would want to know certain things like does the guy have gay tendencies. Does he like sleeping around with different women, just for the hell of it. Does he use drugs or is an ex junkie, does he have a problem with gambling, has kids I don't know about, all those would be reasons for me not to marry him. Anything you think he should know tell him now, later will be to late. I've heard of men leaving on their wedding night, because the bride had led him to think she was a virgin.
What has religion got to do with it other than to confuse the issue or create some 'reason' to make one or other party feel guilty?





For God's sake (and I use that phrase deliberately) you are entering into an adult relationship, not playing Spin the Bottle.





Anybody who needs to have that sort of information from their partner before marriage is either:





a) a control freak - move countries if you need to to get away


b) 15 years old emotionally


c) a pervert who gets off on other people's sex lives





EVERYONE is entitled to privacy when it comes to their prior history. If my husband had asked me those questions before (or after) we got married I would have been disgusted and insulted. My life is an open book to him since we met and established a relationship, the rest is none of his business.
I, personally, did not want to know everything about my husband's past. There are even certain things that I wish I didn't know. Many people withhold certain details about their past. I didn't tell my husband every little detail about my past. I was honest with him about who and how many, but I didn't share EVERYTHING with him. Some things are better left unsaid. If they don't know then they can't sit around and think about it or throw it up in your face.
We already knew almost everything but there's wasn't that all that much to tell.


There were more serious emotional confessions years and years later; that I wish we could have had much sooner but I don't think we were emotionally ready for it (jealousy was intense early on).





e.g. How do you tell your husband you still have feelings for your high-school boyfriend that you left him for? And am still friends with him?


How do I tell my wife that I proposed to someone else before her? And am still friends with her?





There's this fairy-tale notion of ';one true love'; that just isn't real.


Often you don't stop caring for people of your past and it isn't reasonable to expect people to.


That's why marriage is a commitment.
Both my husband and I are catholic, but not a die hard catholic. We got married in a catholic church, none the less.





There are certain things, that are just not needed to know. I think it would make me sick to think about who or how many women he has been with, I know obviously he's had a past with women but thats all I need to know.





What would that information satisfy anyway? you would both divulge your past sexual history, and what good can come from that... nothing. So its just not something thats needed to know.
Wow.





I can't begin to guess how far you need to back up.





You need to back up to where someone else's feelings matter. You drove right past that offramp.





If you have to ask that question, you need a lot more time with somebody. You don't know how those stories would make someone you'd spend your life with feel? Run away. You've got Novocaine instead of blood. Some rare people think that's cool. That might be your someone special. But you'd know by now.





You never started with at least how it would make you feel. Not even that. Where could you go for a feeling transfusion? Drain out the Freon and put in the serum and cells. Run errands and bring things to kids on a cancer ward. Volunteer in a pet shelter. Ask your Mom about how you got to be selfish. There are a lot of ways to get there.





But you've got to get there before you think the word ';marriage';. A person you spend every day with is changes in response to you and you to them. Today's answer isn't always tomorrow's.





Yeah, that's it. Sensitivity. What your question doesn't have. ';...all the details.';? I understand the concern. My friend's dad was a commando, trained intensely to kill as a reflex. He punched my friend's mom when she poked him in the ribs one night. Might have been nice if he had told her.





You want to know if a future consequence of sleeping with other people would be easier if it were known before getting married. No. Love has be enough to get you through the day you're in. You and spouse see that stuff in public later - make sure trust and love run strong enough each day so it makes you better for it.





That's your history? Make each day like it's the day it's going to be on CNN and even ESPN. And your spouse goes ';Oh, big whoop.'; and doesn't even mention it. That's what happens for married people almost every day. They forgive. And give.
I don't care who he's slept with in the past. The past is in the past, and everyone has a history. The details don't matter, unless there's a child or a warrant that's going to suddenly pop up in our lives at some point in the future.





All I care about is who he's slept with since we've been together. If it's not ';just me'; then there is an issue.
I agree with Blues Breaker. The past is the past. Whatever happened with all your ex mates is history. All people are not the same. Therefore whatever type of person your spouse to be is different from all the rest. They may have a few things in common but they won't be 100% the same as the others.Therefore your spouse to be doesn't need to know the past of all your exes. He/she may get tired of hearing you bringing up the past. I hope this helped you.
my husband and i have had a deal from the beginning. if you might not want to know the answer don't ask. i asked about how many people he'd been with among other things and i was fine hearing it. he doesn't ask because he doesn't want to know so i don't tell. and by the way it's not fair to use against eachother either. not a nice way to repay honesty.
I think many things are better left unsaid. I never asked how many women my husband slept with or how many girlfriends he had. He never asked how many boyfriends I had (I saved myself for my hubby). It didn't matter and neither of us cared for any details. I just made sure I had him tested before I said ';I DO';.





A little bit of mystery is good for a relationship...
I think it depends on the person. I told my husband everything before we got married, and sometimes I wish I hadn't. I was his first love and unfortunately he wasn't mine. and when he want to be sweet he mentions how he wish I waited for him. Like come on that just makes me feel terrible.
past is past. my husband and i have never discussed those things. we never thought to ask because it didn't matter. if someone is going to base their feelings on how many partners their future spouse may have had, they're the wrong person to be with in the first place. christian or not.
Yes - both hubby and I talked about our past relationships and past marriages (and the good/bad things). We had nothing to hide from each other.





BTW both of us have not been in any more then one handful of relationships (including our current marriage!) And yes we are both Christians.
don't tell.


been there, done that. I felt we should be honest with each other.


but my husband uses it as a weapon against me.


if I'm ever disagreeable about anything, he says stuff like- ';You just fantasize about your ex, don't you.';
That doesnt mean if you are a christian you have to tell everything, does it matter to him? If your past matters to him, then you have a big problem here...He doesnt need to know it.
NOOOO!!! he'll go into the marriage possibly angry, and you dont want that. you dont admit to things like that unless they come up (which they never should). other wise, leave them in the past where they belong!
Negative- save some things for later and keep an aura of mystery about yourself. Newlyweds should be on a need-to-know basis for at least the first two years.
No I don't want to know and neither did he.





I did date a guy once that kept asking me, I told him, ';why does it matter now that I'm with you?'; He stopped asking.
Sexual Confession-Sessions = Bad, Bad, HORRIBLE Idea!!!!


What you need to tell are matters of HEALTH CONCERNS only. Otherwise: Keep your mouth SHUT.


xoxoxoxoxo
What do you possibly gain from knowing the details of each others past. Keep it to yourself...details will get to you more
We never made a fuss over it, those things arent a big deal unless u make them one. We made sure to know each other tho, how we felt about life and what we wanted... thats the stuff that matters