Unhappily married, emotionally abusive husband... How do I ';break the ice'; with engaged neighbor?

I am pretty sure he likes me because he keeps going out of his way to talk to me when my husband and his fiance are not home.





What can I do to ';break the ice'; and ';get things going';?Unhappily married, emotionally abusive husband... How do I ';break the ice'; with engaged neighbor?
cool... say a hi.....invite him for a tea.. it ll take time..chat wit him daily.. try to express ur feeling... come on life iz short...Unhappily married, emotionally abusive husband... How do I ';break the ice'; with engaged neighbor?
you must be looking for trouble! as i do not suppose you want to


start a foursome or a neighbour war, you need to set matters


straight with your husband first. your choice is to separate, get


a divorce or to stay unhappy. remember '; a horrible end is better


than an unending horror';.


as for your neighbour - he also needs to straighten out his own


relationship first. he can either part with his fiance or stay with her.


if he stays with her, you should'nt become his side-dish.
Maybe try hooking up your husband with his fiance.


This sounds really fun


and if all things went well,


perhaps you both can attach legally. HAPPY AS WELL.
Start by divorcing your husband. That will give you some things to talk about.
Yes theres really no easy answer to this.. Your a married woman you took your oath to be comepltely honest and faithful to your husband... as had he took an oath to love and cherish you no matter what, its apparent hes not fulfilling your needs and crushing your spirit.. So the first step would be to end the marriage. You cant wait to see if a neighbor your intrested in is into you before you end your marriage its wrong as the emotional abuse hes dealing to you, and not to forget the fact he has a fiance. So again my suggestion is to end your doings with hubby before you presue other options.
Let do:


You'; get divorced


He '; break up with his fiancee





If you guys can do, then break it
i am in an emotionally abusive relationship also, It's complicated for me but you are married and I am not. Only engaged. I am breaking the ice with other people and one way is to just say what's on your mind. If you know the person well that you are interested in then I would let them know your situation and your unhappineess. If this person you talk about is really sincere then possibly something could developo between you two that is more satisfying than either relationship you are in now.
Hang the laundry out, all of it.

refill

My wife puchased a home before we were married in Minnesota and only her name is on the loan and title.?

We have a 2nd mortgage in both of our names with a different lender. If the house if foreclosed is my credit affected if we stay current with the 2nd mortgage. Can the bank sue for diffeciency in Minnesota or come after our bank account?My wife puchased a home before we were married in Minnesota and only her name is on the loan and title.?
Because you are legally married the impact is to both of you regardless of who is on the title/mortgage. The lender can file a 1099 to the IRS for balance, or forgive this loan, once they have the house back. The 2nd loan however, with another lender may not be forgiven, as they nothing secured to recover and sell like the house. So on that loan as long as you stay current, you're fine. But if you default, then they can and most likely will come after you for that balance.My wife puchased a home before we were married in Minnesota and only her name is on the loan and title.?
states vary in their laws...but i can't see any state coming after you for debts she incurred prior to your marriage.





however, if you now have joint accounts at the bank, and jointly own property then watch out, they can go after half of the value.





stay current in the house you are in, you might look into her personally filing bankruptcy , again it changes from state to state


you need some legal advice here.





good luck





ps...only she has a second mortgage, you are on your first and only one.
Is MN a common law state ? You might be liable for both. Check with a legal source.





If you are current with the 2nd then there shouldn't be a problem with that loan.





Do you really have to foreclose ? Get some financial advice and look at the big picture and the time line. Can you keep making payments/refi ?





Hang in there. Ever been to the 10,000 Lakes Music Festival ? Its a killer 4 days.

Im married and wanting to leave my husband can i get custody?

we have a 2year old together and i have no job yet but what i was planing is to get a job then after 60 days file for custody. i know he wont give him up with out a fight but for all the wrong reasons i plan to start video taping too of how he acts and treats our son (no he doesn't beat him) do you think they will give me custody?Im married and wanting to leave my husband can i get custody?
It all depends on what state your in. Every state has a different family court system. I just recently went through this same situation but I was never married. Which makes a huge difference..Being married is a harder decision for family court. If you decide to leave him and remain in the same state as the child's father you should have no problem remaining the primary custodial parent (meaning the child will live with you allowing the father visitation) and joint custody should be awarded to you both. With equal visitation until the child starts school. You can always call family law attorneys and ask for a free consultation too. That helped me. Don't get to cocky or believe what people say about the courts not taken the children away because it has happened and can happen. Just find out and research as much as possible and what you need to know before you go to court...AND YES, definitely get a job...You need to prove that you can take care of the child even with out his help granted they will order him to pay..GOOD LUCK with everything..This is definitely a hard situation to deal w/..Let me know if you have any questions...I really know my stuff and I''m still going through it..Its like a never ending process. So exhausting... Take Care. I'll definitely keep you in my prayers and pray for the child too! Hopefully its not to tough on them!Im married and wanting to leave my husband can i get custody?
If he does not know he is being recorded (video or tape) it will not hold up in court. He legally has to know he is being video-taped or the judge will throw that piece of evidence out. Honestly, in most states, it is extremely hard to get a child taken away from their mother. The father would have to prove the mother unfit (saying that you beat your child, do drugs in front of him, etc. --which he would need proof) --most likely, if neither of you have hardcore proof against the other, they will grant joint custody. You will have the boy one week and him the next; or he will have him every weekend or every other weekend.





I hope everything works out!
i think you just need to get together and discuss this civilly. Because filming someone with out consent can be seen as a crime. i believe Richard Nixon was impeached for something close to that.





You'll have to get a lawyer, that is plain but you better hope you get one thats better than his. and Hope you get a judge that favors mothers rights to children.
Go ahead and record him. When I was little, my dad recorded my mom without her knowing and he got custody of me. They will give the mother custody unless she is proved to be unfit.
You're the mum chances are you'll get custody anyway. Unless you're taking drugs or are in jail the chances are you'll get custody. Mum's normally always get custody.
Unless you can PROVE that he is abusive or cannot support them, expect to get SHARED custody.
im not sure if youll get custody but thee absolute worse case senario is that yi=ouu guyys each get 50% custody
You'll probably be given shared custody.

Getting married in the military, difference between command sponsored and non-command sponsored?

I'm trying to get married in europe. I was told that the marriage can be command sponsored or non-command sponsored. Can anyone tell me the difference between these two types, or a reference on them, please? Thank you.Getting married in the military, difference between command sponsored and non-command sponsored?
Command sponsored is the Government pays for your move and housing. Non means you pay if you want her there where you are. She will still get PX, Commissary, Hospital, under either.


A non tour is shorter than a sponsored tour. It becomes problematic if you get married in Europe. The individual is already on a non sponsored tour. The tour will have to be extended under a sponsored tour. However you have to request it and it is not always granted. It depends on housing available etc.


If you get stuck on a non sponsored tour and are unable to get a sponsored then when you rotate back to the states you can then pick up a sponsored tour usually. They will ship your stuff.


Pit falls,


Is this person a foreign national?


Will the military individual lose a security clearance? These things can change a tour and or future assignment.





Glad you askedGetting married in the military, difference between command sponsored and non-command sponsored?
One note: All these people are right, except this: C.S. does not occur until AFTER marriage, and only if you are already in an overseas command. Is she German/Italian, etc? Then there should be no problem. The biggest problem with be her/him not being eligible for off-post healthcare w/o being command sponsored, nor will housing be authorized. After you get married, you need to do a:





DA 4187


DA 5888


DA 7462


Marriage Cert


Copies of Passport


Any birth certs (you will command sponsor step-children also)





and if you have kids already with an ex, a notarized letter allowing them to come overseas in your custody. The 5888 can be a pain in the ***, and the whole process can take a while. Beware if your spouse acts a fool, you CDR can force them back to the States with a Command Directed EROD.





Congrats!!
Command sponsored is when the spouse is authorized to live with the military member at their overseas location. Non-command sponsored is like if you got married and just went to go live with the mil member. If it is command sponsored, the mil member will get housing allowance (if applicable) at the ';with dependent'; rate because the command is allowing you to live with the mil member. If non-command sponsored, they do not receive extra money for their current housing situation.
A command spnnsered spouse means that person has been put on your orders. You are then eligable for dependent rate BAH/base housing (and if you have been in the dorms, you will be eligable to move out), seperation pay if they are not with you. THe military will pay to move them with you, they will access to the base facilities and are covered under the SOFA agreements with host nations when you are stationed overseas. Non-sponsered means that while you will still get dependent rate BAH and seperation pay, your spouse will not be eligable to live in base housing, may have limited or no access to base facilities without you accompanying them (and for medical treatment, without command sponsership they may not be able to be treated on base at all) and they are not covered by SOFA agreements (very important when you live overseas for extended periods of time). It also means the military will not pay for them to move to be with you and, if you are of a rank that would have to live in the dorms otherwise, you will be in the dorms and only get differential BAH (a few hundred dollars a month at most). Command sponsership is definitely the way to go...from a financial point of view as well as logistically.
are you marring someone in the states???





and what exactly are you asking?? because are you talking about moving her to the states after you guys get married? are you stationed in europe??? email me carolin.arrington@yahoo.com

What are some social stigmas attached to getting married in college?

Not planning to, just a random descussion between me and my girlfriend. Both of us feel there is some, but we don't have any clue what they are. :DWhat are some social stigmas attached to getting married in college?
We got married in college. I was 20 and he was 23. We encountered a LOT of social stigmas...





1) Everyone assumed we were way too young.


2) People assumed we wouldn't stay together for long.


3) People assumed we wouldn't be able to make ends meet.


4) People assumed that I would get pregnant and we would drop out.


5) People just in general assumed it was stupid to not wait without even having a reason sometimes.


6) People thought we would not be able to handle the pressure of working AND being in school AND marriage.


7) People thought we would go DEEP into debt and never recover.





That's all I can think of for now. Let me say that we are still together and doing great, graduated, paid off our debts, we made ends meet (barely) and that we were too young to get married! lol. But we love each other and we worked through some rough times. We got some financial help from our parents when we got stuck once, and we worked VERY, VERY hard and we probably didn't need too if we had waited. However, being thrifty and smart--we survived!





IF you are thinking about it. I would offer a few words of advice:





1) Don't have credit cards, just keep one with a VERY small limit for EMERGENCIES only...we got into a lot of trouble with that!!!!!





2) Ignore what people say, and take your time finishing school (part time classes) if being married is really important to you. Just make sure that school remains a priority!





3) Realize that you will suddenly have a different focus than most other people at college and it will be hard to make friends as everyone else wants to go drink and hook up...while you have to go to work tomorrow and go home to a person who could be getting on your nerves! LOL





Lastly, EVERYONE will expect you to fail, because in reality--most people do. Be very cautious, don't spend money on a wedding, keep your priorities straight, and learn to laugh and you will survive. Marriage isn't about love or some secret ingredient. Its about respecting each other and a lot of hard work. If you have this, then you can survive the hard times and still fall in love at the end of the day when your spouse does something special or funny that makes you remember why you fell in love with them at the beginning.





Best of Luck!What are some social stigmas attached to getting married in college?
Oooh. Lots of people will tell you that you'll get divorced soon, that you're too immature for marriage, that you won't be able to handle life financially, that you'll want to cheat all the time...people may also assume that your girlfriend is pregnant and you're doing a shotgun wedding (this is what happened with my hubby and I...everyone kept asking, ';So what's your due date?';





But don't base your decision on what other people think. Base it on whether you two think you can handle marriage. My husband and I have a great marriage and healthy finances...his sister is eight years my senior and her marriage is falling apart, their finances are in the gutter, and her kids are caught up in the mess. Age is not a solid indicator of success or failure.
The only issues people would have would be that you are rushing things and that your being irresponsible by not waiting until you are out of school. It's not a huge deal if you've been together for a long time. I knew a few people that did.
if you didn't graduate because of it or if you had a baby before you were ready
It's stupid, too early, and usually doomed to failure.

What hurts traditional marriage more, two homosexuals getting married, or John Ensign (R-Nevada) cheating?

how two people decide to live their lives does NOT affect another couple's marriage.What hurts traditional marriage more, two homosexuals getting married, or John Ensign (R-Nevada) cheating?
Opposite marriage is damaging to the individuals involved, as well as for our society. It is a sign of moral decline and lack of respect for God.





Ensign is wrong as well, yet you are comparing one person (as you try to make a point) with a lifestyle of many dysfunctional people. All men and women who cheat (JOHN EDWARDS- Wife dying from Cancer) have issues with their morals, just as those who make the CHOICE of opposite marriage. We all need to check ourselves, as none of us walk on water.What hurts traditional marriage more, two homosexuals getting married, or John Ensign (R-Nevada) cheating?
I think that ';traditional marriage'; hurts traditional marriage.





I think we forget that the idea is predicated on roles that men and women do not fill anymore. Men and women do not depend on each other the way they once did. We used to have ';A'; relationships. Where if one left the ';A'; would fall over and they Needed each other.





Today, men can ( and do) things that women once did and Women can ( and do) things that men once did. We have a culture of equals. It's like an ';H';. If you seperate an H, you have 2 ';I';'s. That can stand on their own.
Traditional marriage has a +50% failure rate, what could possibly make it any worse. How long would you keep a job if you succeeded less than half the time? Marriage is dead in the water. Like any institution it exists only so the church/state can own a pie$e of your life.





I had a 24-year relationship that was as real a ';marriage'; as any two people who stood uip in front of a priest ever had! We didn't even live together.





So much for a piece of paper. So much for empty words from lying mouths.
Have you ever been married? If you had, you would know that no one else's actions has any effect on your marriage. Only you and your wife can have any effect.





I know what point you're trying to make, but married couples don't care what anyone else does, if they are truly in love.
How can homosexuals getting married hurt my marriage? Where's the connection here? Unless they after my husband! It's mind boggling!
Neither of them harmed the institution of marriage as much as Barry(Marion) Spitzer Edwards Kilpatrick Mahoney, Tim(replaced Foley after morality crusade, then had affair) Kennedy Clinton...
All who cheat, gay or straight...all who engage in any kind of immoral behavior (homosexuality and sex outside of marriage..meaning straight people, as well). Does John Edwards ring a bell for you?
The only thing that jeopardizes a marriage are the two people involved. Other than that, folks should not concern themselves with what others do.
None, only you can hurt traditional marriage if you ad to the divorce rate.
According to you both harm traditional marriage. You're simply arguing that one does more harm than the other.





Of course you understand that, right?
neither. Try to remember that most Americans are against gay marriage.
homosexuals getting married.
A person who BREAKS their vows certainly cheapens marriage more than two people who WANT to get married.
about equal

refill

Did you have a racial preference before getting married?

A lot of Americans are really hung on appearance.





So white women, did you have a racial preference before getting married?Did you have a racial preference before getting married?
I do not believe in racial stuff. It depends upon person to person, some might give importance to outward appearance but marriage is all about the union of hearts.Did you have a racial preference before getting married?
This white man has worked with and known black women for many years - some of the hardest-working, honest and upright people I've known - but I have never been sexually attracted to any of them. And I could not marry someone I wasn't sexually attracted to.
Yes ...NO IDIOTS :)
Under the skin were made all the same